I have been journaling for pretty much as long as I can remember. As part of my feng shui house clearing project, I started shredding my journals from the past. (I shredded 2 so far) I have about 25 years worth of them! 25 YEARS! When I started shredding them I found some pages that made me cry. Re-reading about hard times in my own words is just like re-living it. The EXACT same feelings came up. If my heart was broken when I was writing, my heart was breaking as I was reading. So I was glad to shred those and be done with those kinds of memories. BUT there is some really good stuff in there. I even found some old pictures and newpaper clippings. There are some good memories too.
So what would you do? Would you just keep them all in a box (and let someone else deal with them someday?) or go through them and save the good parts?
Shred them all? Don’t even read them? I’m not sure why I even wanted to hang on to them. I guess because it is a part of my history. Re-reading about times when T2 was little and doing something silly brings a smile to my face. I was recently reading about how we were fixing up our first home on very little money. I was so proud of myself for making these pillows. I went on and on about them (I don’t even remember them now). That was kind of neat to read. Or when my sister was pregnant. How we anticipated the birth of her child. But re-reading about my Grandpa’s death- from my own perspective on the day he died- that’s just sad.
Many times I was writing out of frustration or because I was upset with someone or some situation. I don’t really want to save those. I don’t even think they are a representation of who I am. It was just a moment in time I was trying to sort things out or get something off my chest. I don’t really want anyone else to read that either. If something happened to me- I wouldn’t want T to re-live any disagreements we may have had (which are so insignificant compared to the amount of love we have for one another).
Would it be dishonest (to myself) to just save the good parts?
What to do?